Thursday in March

Happy one-week birthday to Miss Felicity! Going on day six now of bed rest… Although I have to admit today's been the first day that I've been able to get up and move quite a bit. I actually took a shower for the first time since Sunday and brushed my hair and got dressed. It seems like the blood patch was effective and that the headache has gone away, but I feel cautiously optimistic since the last one worked tfor 48 hours before failing.

The procedure was kind of comical since I had a complete anxiety attack when trying to sign the medical waiver and again at the start of the blood patch. High blood pressure, tense muscles, fast breathing, tears and shaking... I was totally freaked out that I was making a wrong choice since medical intervention is what had caused the pain in the first place. I was terrified of permanent damage. The anesthetist did a really good job of addressing my concerns and switched out a member of the team for someone more seasoned at blood draws. I made it through it with Brian's help to help me stay calm, relaxed and to hold up my head and upper body since I had to stay limp to be relaxed and draw sterile blood after the epidural catheter was in. So glad that's over... And I've realized that people have no idea what this is. Someone told Brian today that they had an epidural headache for a few days a a massage really helped...  Hmmmm. 

Brian finish the sprinkler system and it works awesome!  

Life is lovely. Regret is ugly.

We are so blessed in so many ways. Having little Felicity as part of our family has brought so much joy. She is nursing like a champ and she has no health problems or complications at all. She's beautiful and I can't complain about fussiness or sleep at all. It's been so nice to have my mom here because it's been quite the adjustment for my girls… But not in the way I expected. It's been difficult for Lecil to have mommy always nursing and able to help or play as much. I think it is also struggled with mommy not being available. I got an epidural headache after the baby was born last Thursday. I wasn't able to sit up at all until I got the blood patch done. Last night I noticed that the headache was starting to come back. Now I have to lie am a back all the time or may excruciating pain. I've been trying to decide what to do. They say hindsight is 2020 but definitely feels that way now. If only I could go back and not get the epidural I would do it in a heartbeat. Knowing that I could be perfectly healthy right now feel somewhat frustrating. I'm really really hoping this will go away because it feels very incapacitating to not be able to do anything but lie in bed all day. With that said send goodness I have little Felicity keep me company. Brian's health is been key he's changed all diapers picture up and help so much. Having my mom here is absolutely essential since I cannot do anything to help with the girls at all. I'm praying to know what the best decision is… A little scared of another procedure so close to my spine and so many needles already. But also I cannot imagine trying to lie here in bed for two weeks to three months if this headache never goes away.