wake up winter

full moon and the first starts coming out

(orion with his bow. . . little does he know just how trendy archery is right now)

True: the night sky here at the Needles is said to be the darkest sky (next to Natural Bridges which is a stones throw south) in the whole United States. When it's a new moon, it is knock-your-socks off amazing. I took these pictures on a full moon which was also beautiful. 

I love storms. I especially love how they roll in so quickly. I swear the colors on the rocks are 10x as brilliant. Liesel and I had fun wandering around watching the dark clouds approach and the sun go down. Brian always says that he gets paid in sunsets. And it's true. The compensation for living in the middle of nowhere is that all winter I feel like I'm peeking in on someone asleep. We got to know a little badger who would come out and sun himself in the same spot every day. And just today Liesel dropped a handful of 'berries' in my hand (which were in fact a bunch of rabbit poop). It's still sleepy but I feel like the desert down here is finally starting to wake up. 

Hannah: official trailer in HD

(click the word Youtube at the bottom if you want to see it bigger)

Ok, it's corny. I know. But it made me smile and I bet you will too. Totally worth the 1 minute.

Plus I've finally learned how to record video on my Canon which means lots more HD videos to come. And I've mastered iMovie (which means I plug in the videos and they do the rest). Brian is whipping up some sweet beats on Garage Band (I went to bed the other night with his jam going through my head-- oh dear). I don't know what's better-- his enthusiasm with his beats or the puckered-lips-head bob-hand-out while he's listening. 

This is how we pass the time at the Needles. Don't judge, k?

hipster

Hannah's getting ready for our drive to New Mexico next week. Something about a three month old in skinny jeans and moccasins makes me want to sing songs by The Black Keys and grow a mustache. 

I am excited-slash-nervous for the journey south. Is it weird that I've wanted to see the Madonna of the Trail for a while now? I'm hoping she can give me some tips on how to remove cactus spines from toddler toes and domesticate a coyote (or maybe a raven. . . that seems more hipster). We could use a pet around here.  

The girls. A four and half minute video.

I'm a mom

Liesel's smile for the camera these days.

playing the pa-nan-o 

Liesel caught gold-handed in my make-up bag

sisters. 

sisters and my funky toes.

my butterball of joy

It must be the huge lifestyle change. The terrifying thought that you might mess up. The terrifying thought that you are messing up. The lack of sleep. While I LOVED being a first time mom to Liesel, I'm finding that being a mom these days is so much more . . . chill.

I am obsessed with my gals.

They are both blowing my mind these days. Liesel is learning EVERYTHING which means she wants NOTHING to do with me.  . . as far as help in any area except changing her diaper is concerned. It honestly keeps me laughing all day. I hear lots of "I want that!"'s and plenty of "I can do it myself"'s
She picked out her clothes this morning. She is learning how to put together puzzles. She pushed her dolly around (not the one that Brian and I bought her for Christmas mind you. She wants absolutely nothing to do with that one. Instead she plays with a small one my mom gave her). She burped her dolly. She nursed her dolly. She built towers with blocks. She built towers with nesting boxes. She drew pictures. She jumped off the sofa. She did somersaults. She read books. I read her some books. She told me what to do. I told her what to do. She walked around with her lion towel on her head. She screamed and ran around the house. She put herself in timeout with her nose to the wall. She asked "what is that crazy noise?" She sang multiple songs. She danced. She lifted weights with us (her kettle ball-- she knows which one is hers and she goes and gets it every time). Her prayers, kisses and hugs are some of my favorite moments each day.

And Hannah. Oh Hannah. Man, Hannah!! She's got my heart in those little sweaty fists of hers. And do you know what? She laughed for the first time today! And the best part is, Brian was home to hear the cutest sound ever made. I want to bottle it up and listen to it every day for the rest of my life. She also cried. She cried when Liesel dropped her baby mirror on her head. She cried when I put her in the carseat. She cried while she watched me jumprope. But she mostly was happy. And kicked her feet and looked at her animals in her bouncer. She LOVES those animals.
She also loves her schedule. She knows when it's 6:15pm. She starts her little yelps. As I'm getting her dressed she knows it's coming: nursing and nighttime and she can't wait. She fusses super loud and kicks until I finally wrap her up and the lights go out and red light comes on the headlamp. My Hannah&Me time is sacred.

I know I've had a lot of mom posts lately, but it's rainy and time is passing and I'm almost in a new decade. One day I'll want it all back so I want to remember that amidst the insanity I was very very happy being a mom to my little ones. 

playtime

Liesel loves to push the Chariot for me when we get close. She also loves having a papa who can say hello Liesel over his intercom when he passes us in his ranger truck. 

 Opinions opinions. Liesel is definitely in the stage where she wants to do everything by herself. Even if it means walking over 1ft of snow in her cowboy boots like she did today for an hr while at the park. It is amazing how much she is learning every day. When I ask her to help me clean up, she usually does a pretty good job. She can pick things up for me and go get something when I ask her. Sounds like I like having someone to boss around and help me. That pretty much sums it up. Just kidding. I actually think it's remarkable how much she knows these days! 

 Hannah isn't too keen on the daily sledding trips. But it gets me out and running and makes all of us much happier to be outside a little. I found the perfect sled track on a dirt road down here. Liesel may be a future olympic luge competitor after using this sled-- it is insanely fast. 

L may have broken that speed limit. 

 You can see the Island in the Sky mesa (and Junction Butte) in this photo. Looks like a stones throw away, but it takes 2 hours to get there from here. 

 snow angel.

 This little angel was not too pleased with getting woken up by big sis. 

So the girls and I have been getting out every day to play. Mostly just sledding but we recently discovered an unused swing set and fort 20 minutes away. Comes with bonus horses, hay, cows and dogs. Not to mention a friend for me!  She and her husband came over for dinner tonight and I learned all about ranching. Since I'm a wannabe horse girl I think this friendship will work out pretty well. 

Hannah at 3 months

We borrowed grandma's sweater for this shoot. 

 Then promptly took it off. 

Mom even experimented with 16th century ruff collars to accentuate my head. Then we realized that wasn't a good idea either. Speaking of which, head holding is going well. My neck not only collects milk and gets stinky, it is also getting stronger and holding up my head quite well. 

 Smiling often. Very often. Except mom can't seem to get a non-blurry shot of my huge grins because smiling also makes me toss my head back in forth in glee. I'm a morning gal and will smile at the wall I'm so happy. Thankfully I don't have to because there are lots of people excited to see my beautiful face each day. I'm going to bed at about 6:30pm and waking up around 7am. I wake up to eat about 2 times (once if I'm feeling especially generous . . .which I usually am about one day a week). 

 My hands used to stay clenched all the time. Now I'm starting to open them more and feel things. Mom thinks it's adorable and loves it when I grab her shirt . . . although not so much when I grab her hair and then tight-fist it so it's impossible to get out. 

 I'm 13lbs (75%)

22 in' (25%)

and 100% really really adorable. 

 My new pastimes include: 

sucking my hand

blowing spit bubbles

smiling 

air-biking (I keep a pretty steady cadence) 

cooing and screeching

whimpering (it'll break your heart to hear. Seriously)

and screaming when I'm really ticked off. This usually involves mom putting me in 4 layers so she can go running and take Liesel sledding. But once we start moving I fall right asleep. 

Note from mom:

Watching Liesel grow up each day/week/year I felt like I was able to enjoy every minute of it. It seemed to pass fairly slowly. But Hannah is moving at mach10. I'm realizing that babies are only babies for a year. Maybe 14 months if I want to stretch it. I really genuinely love feeling her weight in my arms, wiping off her spit-up covered chin and watch her fall asleep and let her weight slump against me as she nurses each night. Her smiles are the best way to wake up in the morning. I love rubbing her fuzzy head against my cheek. I love picking the cradle cap off her scalp (TMI?). And I especially love it when her little hands grab onto me. 

I love all baby animals, but this little mammal takes the cake. Easy. Babies have got to be the cutest little things in the whole wide world. Forget that. In the Universe. 

I love my little baby Hannah to pieces. 

what have i done?

I have posted about my addiction before. Unfortunately, I haven't curbed my appetite for peanut butter and now I'm passing it on to my offspring. I'm trying to expand my horizons and today and made up some tuna for lunch, only to have Liesel go to the cupboard and pull out the peanut butter and say, "just a little bit? On your finger? Right der?" (on your finger actually means on my finger). 

It's true. 

PB on ice cream

PB on pancakes

PB on french toast

PB on bread

PB with pasta

PB in candy

PB on muffins 

PB and chocolate

PB in smoothies

PB and bananas

PB and apples

PB on a spoon. 

All delicious. 

But I'm giving up and giving in. At least now on March 1st (National Peanut Butter Lover's day. . . hello!) I'll have someone to celebrate with. 

Or maybe two people: when I was listening to the election results roll in last november, I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Mitt Romney had eaten his favorite snack that evening-- open faced pb and honey. I always knew I liked him . . . 

Town

sorry for the poor picture quality.  I had .01 seconds before both girls attacked me and wanted to play with the camera. 

Town is a beautiful word. 

It means Liesel gets to play. A lot. And Brian gets to play and I get to talk. The above picture is Rylee's house. The interpretation of "rylee's house" in Liesel's little mind would be: toys. 

We've been staying at an Inn in town that has hooked us up with a good deal. Good deal or not though, it is still a bit of cash to lay down just to stay in town and we probably won't do it too many more times. 

I've been surprised at how well it's worked out with both kids. We put them down after hanging out and eating with friends [emergency side note: can I tell you how much I love our friends? I love them. I really really do. And I'm not afraid to say it, darn it! People are what life is all about. Thank you. I'll step down now.] and then watch a movie on our mini-dvd player on the king size bed. It feels a little bit like a vacation. A vacation where you whisper all the time, tiptoe around with a head lamp on and drive to the gas station when you gotta go b/c your two-year-old is asleep in her pack-n-play in the bathroom. But still. 

 Last week we woke up and got ready for a day of skiing in the mountains. 

I'm getting better at balancing the girls while trying to change diapers and nurse in a car loaded with junk.  I've only been pooped on twice. 

 This translates to a lot of getting ready for a few hours of skiing, but it was worth it. I decided not to go this week and opted to chill in town since temps have been SOO low lately. 

 And a plug for Chariot: the ski attachment pulls so well. I couldn't believe it. It didn't feel like a slog at all. However, the downhill was a little terrifying since the poles don't bend with your turns and the weight of the girls really propels you. With that said, both girls slept through 1/2 of the ascent and nearly the whole decent. 

Janus and I go way back.

another year is starting. Actually the month is half gone already. It is incredible how fast time is moving. Something felt heavy about the day today. Maybe it was the unmet expectation that I would be driving away. That I would be in the car going somewhere where people are. And instead I woke up to snow and felt trapped. Liesel must have known it also and got out her frustration by biting me and refusing to take a nap. 

Sometimes I feel inclined to feel sorry for myself or imagine my "golden ticket"-- as soon as we buy a house, then I'll be happy. Or as soon as I can grow a garden. Or as soon as I can milk a goat and make cheese. Or have a dance party. Or ride my bike to City Market again . . . Then I think about the Pioneers and my pity party seems shallow (am I the only one that compares everything they do to the Pioneers???). 

My kids are healthy and vibrant. We have employment and plenty of food. The scenery is truly beautiful. Brian makes me laugh and he works hard. I have a telephone and can call my family when I'm lonely. And my list of abundance goes on and on. So I guess what I'm saying is, even though 2013 may not be starting ideally, it is starting ideally. You know what I mean?  

This year I resolve to:

1) learn to play the simplified hymns on piano

2) read the D&C (I never have. . . should I admit that?)

3) do a trail run race

4) climb mt. Moran 

5) get dressed (more often)

I'm looking forward to:

1) greater stability

2) Hatch beach reunion in July!!!

3) watching my girls learn & grow

4) not being pregnant

5) Brian being one year closer to graduating

6) my calling as RS teacher

7) turning 30

I'm nervous for:

1) the cabin at the Tetons with two kids

2) watching my girls learn&grow

3) moving again (and then again)

4) aging

Ok 2013. Here we go. 

New Years in St. George (part II)

The Patriarchs in Zion Nat'l Park. 

where my girlz at? 

For some reason when my sisters and I (particularly these ones) get together we have a tendency to talk and act like Latoya, Shauntay and Ebony. We sort kinda maybe grew up in da hood and yeah, we may have been minorities in middle school. I may or may not have learned the percolator and butterfly in my 6th grade chorus class. I have never been able to get hip hop out of my bones. And for some reason when we get together is just all comes out. I never really had a southern accent (except for that family video where all I talk about is Shania Twain???!), but I most def had a homegirl one.  

I'm sure Brian would say it's one of my endearing qualities. 

Right babe? 

Right?

Hannah is buried under 10 layers of down and synthetic fabrics-- but I'm still counting this as a family photo. 

New Years day we spent in Zion. Or getting ready to go to Zion. Which took as long as actually being in Zion. We met up with Pete  (Brian's bestie from Grand Canyon High) and Jacqueline and their two kids (same ages as ours) for a 3m hike. They are both rangers in here.

Every time I drive into Zion it shocks me. It is so beautiful. It reminds me of a red rock Yosemite. Catching up with the Drakes was great too-- sharing labor stories and hearing about their adventures (Pete went to Patagonia last year- check out his Outdoor blog).

When we got home we played games all evening and I actually made it to midnight (somewhat reluctantly). We ate too much and toasted in the New Year with Martinelli's. Brian made his usual speech about how dumb it is to ring in the new year by eating too much and staying up too late and then we all went to bed. 

Matt and Lindsey left the next few days to head back to work and we spent the rest of the week helping Aunt Chris with the house (their selling B's grandma's house. . .sad!), shopping, getting my hair done, watching Les Mis (did anyone else think that Marius looks like Brian??), going swimming at the aquatic center and playing at the park with the girls. 

menchie's and the movies.

And yes, we took a picture of both of these "normal" activities. . .b/c for us going to get fro yo (somewhere other than Maverick) and the movies (literally impossible unless we get a hotel and babysitter willing to stay there in silence with our kids) is a BIG DEAL.
Rant over. Thanks. 

2013 is going to be a banner year. did i mention i'm turning 30 in exactly one month?