It's kinda surreal.

And oh so exciting. 

twenty-one months & April ruled.

Ha, banishment! Be merciful, say “death,”

For exile hath more terror in his look,

Much more than death. Do not say “banishment.”  

Romeo (Romeo & Juliet)

April has been good to me. Oh so good to me. It gave me a taste of good things to come. Nice weather, splashing in creeks, running over sandstone, baby legs in shorts, friends visiting and desert wildflowers. 

But first, before I start into that-- I have to talk about the 21 months. They are ending. 

So, I frequently tell Liesel that she can do hard things. Hiking the 3m to Delicate Arch was one of those times. I gave her the option of giving up (but no Rice Krispy treat) and heading back to the car or to keep going and finish even though it was hard (and getting the treat). Every time she opted to continue (probably sugar motivated, but hey-- whatever works). 

Well, two days ago I was trying to give Liesel and Hannah a bath. I despise washing their hair. Especially L. As I was trying to soap up, she dunked under and splashed water all over me I said, "You're making this hard for me." To which she responded: "Mommy, well . . . you can do hard things." 

She got me. And I laughed.

But in all honesty, I'm almost there. I'm almost done. Perhaps the quote at the top seems a little, dare I say, dramatic? (haha) But I have had Romeo's words run through my head more than once in the last 21 months. I openly admit that I completely relied on the Allred's and Penrod's. I could go into details about the dull days of tears while wandering the road and rocks with the girls. Or waking up in the morning dreading another day. Or the feelings of disconnect from social circles, friends, wards and community-- even holidays. Or the fear that one of them would get hurt and I would be too far  . . . too far. Or the days when I was in town and it was so stressful to have no home base or I forgot wipes (again) or they were screaming as we rode home begging for their own beds. 

But it's almost over. 

And there were good days. And good times. 

I am curious to see how I look back on the Needles. With fondness or relief? Or both? Either way, I am sending out a cosmic disclaimer right now that I may be embarrassingly thrilled to be with people again-- and not just people, but people I LOVE (and who have children or don't get arrested. . . that's nice too).  So forgive me if I'm bouncing off the walls. 

I really don't have anything to complain about-- especially since April was such a grand month. But I just had to sum up my overall feelings on moving back to Moab.

Success!! It does feel good to do hard things.

I cherish this day. It was a fabulous day. Hiking here with Liesel and Hannah tops my list. I LOVE Delicate Arch. Nevermind that it's overrun with tourists, it is for a good reason. I questioned whether or not Liesel could make it, but she really did great. The hike up was often hard for her, but she kept going. It was great being up there with everyone. People. I wonder how long it will take me to dislike the crowds-- I go out searching for them here at the Needles. I was worried how she would do on the way down. I thought she would wear out and need me to carry her. I was prepared to put her in the Ergo and hold Hannah, but I never needed to. She walked the entire way down cheerfully and with no complaint. And Hannah! She walked at least 1/3 of the way down. Both of them slept very well. 

We do this hike almost daily. Cave Springs, you've been good to us. We know every plant (mostly because of those oh-so-helpful NPS signs), rock (many have names ranging from Rosie to Charlotte) and ladder. 

Mary and Brad Burton (along with Baby Leo) came to visit us over Easter week. They came mid-week and we lucked out that Brian also happened to be off. While Brian and Brad climbed Castleton, all of the mom's went bouldering. Another BYU friend, Becky Clements was also in town with her friend. I invited Leslie and we all met up with for a serious play date at Big Bend. There were kids everywhere. And tears. And very little bouldering, but it was a GREAT day. We all went to Mill Creek afterward for a swim and then to Pizza. I love days like those-- just good to the core. 

Liesel with my climbing shoes, chalking up for climbing// she and Owen climbing on the boulders at Big Bend. This child has a desire for summits. 

Hannah, Sam and Leo. Hannah stole Sam's cookie after having stole two from Leslie's snack bag. The most incredible treat radar on the planet. 

The next day we went climbing at Indian Creek with Mary and Brad. 

Brian rigged this backpack swing for Liesel. She loved playing marsupial for the day. 

All four of us in one photo always makes me smile. Especially when it's all four of us at Indian Creek. This was one of the spots I fell in love with Brian. 

I love the creek. I always will. Who cares that I stink at climbing? I love it and I crave it. 

Mary and I ran Big Spring to Squaw the next morning. Desert spring rain smells fabulous and having a buddy to run with made it all the better. 

 We've been frequenting Salt Creek A LOT lately (until the weather turned cold and windy!)-- so for Easter we invited friends down for an egg hunt and creek splashing. 

 And last week B graciously watched the kids so I could go hike/run with Leslie. I have been wanting to get to the Castle Valley overlook on Porcupine Rim for years. Finally made it happen. 

She wrote her name in chalk// taking a bow while dancing on our rock wall

 And this little one. 

Kills me.

Every day.

The other morning she walks into our bedroom and tells Brian and I "I looked at Hannah in the corner. Eyes closed. Head bald."

She is learning so much these days. She really likes letters and writing all the sudden and our drives are filled with "mom! What letter is grass?" or anything she can think of. She has been playing so nicely with Hannah lately and seems so much more grown up. 

 Last week we drove up to see Clay perform in Moab's community off-Broadway performance at the local high school (he rocked it btw-- a very difficult solo from West Side Story). We knew at least half the performers and audience from either church or NPS. It was so fun to watch and we even let Liesel say up late to see the whole thing. At the end, she even jumped on stage during the sing-along performance of Oklahoma! with her arms stretched out in true-performer mode. After it was over she ran, danced and sang on the stage. We had to wake up Hannah and drive all the way home and didn't get back until 11pm. Liesel was absolutely inconsolable and cried for a good 40 minutes begging us to take her home. 

still worth it though. 

 In a nutshell, April was Grand. Just don't ask me how I'll get through tomorrow with no toys, food and high winds. . . ;)

I believe in Christ.

I'm  not sure how many people believe in Christ. There is no denying his existence. Jesus Christ was born on the earth. He lived, walked, talked, taught performed miracles and healed. But who was he? Some say he was a prophet. Some say he was just a man. Some say he was the Messiah. Some choose to ignore the question all together. Some don't care.

But I do. I care who he was and I care about what he did.  I believe his birth, though humble was miraculous. I believe that he is God's son. He taught us to love one another. To serve each other. To keep the commandments. He taught us to follow Him and find eternal life.

There were people-- actual people like you and me-- walking and talking with Christ. Witnessing his miracles. They heard his sermons. They ate the bread and fish and gathered the overflowing baskets. They watched their children be healed. They felt His love. They watched the wind and sea obey Him. They watched him suffer in Gethsemene and carried his lifeless body to the tomb. These same witnesses touched his hands and feet, saw his face, heard his voice and watched him eat-- as a resurrected being. They wanted us to know what they saw, but more importantly what they felt. . . "did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?"

These men and women told others about what they had seen. They wrote their testimonies down in sacred books called scriptures. I have read their witness and I believe them. It has made all the difference in my life. My efforts at being a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend, a citizen and a neighbor are imperfect at best. I make mistakes, I fail. But Christ can make up for where I lack.  Through Him, I can produce good fruit. I can create something beautiful-- even a masterpiece of my life. My mistakes, my sins, my failures tough they be as scarlet, shall be made white as snow. Through Him, I can become a being worthy to live with my Father in Heaven and my brother and Savior, Jesus Christ again. I want that. I want to live with my family, forever, in the presence of God. . . because I have felt, if even for fleeting moments, what that must feel like. And it feels like Heaven.

I add my witness to the millions of others who have believed or do believe in Christ. He is my brother, my Savior and my King. Every good thing I have been given and every good thing I have been able to produce, has come from Him. From tears shed in compassion for a friend's suffering to the sweet hugs of my daughters. From my marriage to Brian to the thrill of standing on a mountain summit. From the strength and comfort I have felt during trials to rhythm of my beating heart as a I run down the slickrock.

I believe in Christ. So come what may. 

Find out more HERE

Lindsey comes!

Aunt Lindsey came to visit in mid-March. I have been a lame blogger lately, I admit. But here is smattering of photos from her visit. We snuck in a 19m hike down to the river and back, which was great. She played awesome with the kiddos who were super sick. She brought the chicks down for them from Moab and we obviously managed to sneak in a photo shoot because we got ready for church in spite of the kids' sicknesses, and then realized that they really were too sick to go-- but we were in the car, ready for church  . . . so photo shoot. I love having Lindsey close to us and all of us love her visits.