Over it.

Hiking up the narrows with the other thousands.

Felicity was taking this photo. J/k... she's asleep in the pack with her head down. 

Together as a family!!

Dad's gone. Tears on. 

This was waaaayyy scarier than it looks. 

Tuachan Theater watching "Peter Pan." Liesel was so excited as you can tell... and she wanted to wear her pajamas, haha! 

Allison and Mike married!! Yay!

Seeing Brian was great. We arrived in true ghetto style with our dirty car and sweaty faces.  I've noticed every time he's around that I find myself laughing so much. I rarely laugh when he's not here, but I'm ALWAYS laughing when he's around. And it usually something weird I've said or done that get's us both going and it makes everything seem light again. This time, as he was cleaning out the dirty car for me, he came across my keys. Then he found another set of keys with my church key and Prius key. Then he found another set of keys with my Honda key that I blamed on the kids for losing months ago. He came down with my three sets of keys and as I'm typing this it doesn't sound that funny, but at the time I couldn't stop. He combined all my keys, made sure they were facing the same way and that they felt good in one's hand. All things that have never crossed my mind. But this little gesture made me feel taken care of and it was a good feeling. 

We swam in the pool at the Airbnb house we were at. It had a zipline to the pool and a high dive. We ended up passing hours there every afternoon during F's nap time. Zion was great. It was great not to drive and to have another adult to talk to. It was so nice just to be us again. We went to Chuck-A-Rama that night and I finally learned that I've never been missing anything. But the kids declared it, "the best day ever!" and were over the moon happy. We chose it because it was Mike's favorite and we were meeting him for the first time. Overall, it was great. The next day Brian left for Mississippi again. The next two days were passed talking to Brian's family and playing at the pool. It was actually wonderful to be able to be with them and reconnect. I loved it. I married into a great family. 

I was on the verge of crying several times in St. George. Hannah got so angry at me the day we were leaving because Felicity was SOO thirsty and I needed to give her a drink but I only had Hannah's water bottle. I had to hold her back to give Felicity a drink, which sent H into a rage. You don't restrain Hannah. It was full-blown "Mommy you da worst mommy ever and you are MEAN!!!!!! I"m going to punch you in da head!" Etc etc. Brian's two aunts and uncles were there and I was feeling embarrassed. None of the kids were listening and they were so angry and tired. I was trying to get everyone looking nice for the wedding, trying to pack up the house and get everything in the car without sweating too much since I was about to go to the wedding and clean the house that we were staying in. It was a disaster and I had tears on the edge of my eyes the entire time. But we made it. I didn't run the errands before that I needed to because I was too tired of constantly buckling and unbuckling the kids and trying to herd them through the store.

The WEDDING. It was beautiful. Once I was at the temple I felt peace. It was beautiful, bright and cool inside the sealing room. Allison looked so radiant and fresh. Mike looked assertive, younger and more handsome. I felt the Spirit during the ceremony. I liked that the sealer said that there is no church in heaven and that the church doesn't save us, the ordinances do. I felt for a second that I could see layers peeling away and it was just me on the path to Christ and the ordinances were the gates I needed to pass through to reach him. It suddenly made my path and my goal seem more simple, clear and individual. I was grateful for that little piece of revelation to ponder.


 I had a dream last night. And it fit me like a glove... Ok, just kidding. 7th grade radiohead reference I believe. Anyway, I really did have a dream and it's not the inspiring MLK kind:

I was on top of building. The building was on an island with nothing else around but endless ocean. The only way to get off the building was to jump into a pool that was three feet deep but I was 50-100ft up and knew if I jumped, I would die or break every bone in my body. I searched for another way off the building and found a ladder, but it only went down part way and then stopped. I was stuck and Brian and Sarah were telling me I needed to jump. I was getting more and more anxious and terrified until I was in a full-blown panic. That's when my eyes opened and I saw the window and my bed and realized it wasn't real. It's not real, but it is how my insides feel right now.

The Hatch House

 I've always lamented that my children are too far away from family. I've worried that they've missed out on the bonds with my parents and their cousins. I want to pass the traditions, the legacy and the love from the Hatch family to them. This summer I really felt like I was able to do that. Both of the girls had sewing lessons from grandma. They both made pillows that they cherish and refuse to sleep without. Liesel even made a little quilt! They spent evening hours cleaning the green beans with us on the back porch. They picked her flowers and made little homes in the garden. They cooked in the kitchen and were always enthusiastic about the frequent ice cream cones that grandma would buy. They fished with grandpa several times a week. Hannah caught her own little fishes several times and proved to be a more patient and diligent fisherwoman. She crafted her own fishing pole from a plastic stick she found and would fish about 18 inches from the bank and reel in tiny fish after tiny fish. They made a bug collection with grandpa and enjoyed peppering him with questions as he patiently answered. 

Grandma also taught Liesel how to swim. She spent about 45 minutes one morning and by the end of the lesson, L could make a desperate go across the deep end. By the end of our stay she was able to swim across the entire pool down and back. 

Little Felicity grew a TON while we there. While I was gone in Asheville, my mom was helping her learn to balance and take more than a few steps. A week after I returned Felicity stood up at church, took 22 steps, fell down and got back up never to return to crawling again. 

Hannah never once went to primary without either my mom or I (usually grandma). She was always covered in mosquito bites (they love her!) which meant she was covered in scabs. 

We introduced them to several Hatch classics like Sound of Music and the old and new Parent Traps. Liesel especially loved them since she could follow the plot better. They were also introduced to the ring game and there is NOTHING better than watching Hannah fool grandpa. When H gets hyper/excited it is the most hilarious thing on the planet. And she was honestly fooling him over and over again! 

I'm so happy we had this summer to spend with them. I'm so grateful for the help they gave me. It was such a positive experience and one I hope they cherish forever. Only three more years... :(

Hatch Family Reunion 2016

 Having all of us together every three years is kind of magic. I love my family. Our weaknesses are apparent from the second you meet us, but our strengths are too. 

Grandma & Grandpa's House

It's been a lovely month. A relaxing month filled with lots of veggies and wheat. Filled with childcare. Filled with pool days and time in the garden. Not filled with dishes or cooking. Not filled with anxiety or stress. Days as peaceful and warm as the humid soft Carolina air. 

My kids have flourished. They are really happy. Except for the insane amount of mosquito bites (that swell up to quarter and nickel size) on Hannah's legs and arms, they are as happy as clams. 

Felicity has completely started walking. Two weeks ago she went from taking about 10 steps in a row to standing up in church and walking until she plopped down and then would stand up and start walking. Now she is more balanced and stable and thumps around all over doing her baby business. Which often includes screeching very loudly. She can say "hi" "bye" and "da-dee" or very babyish versions of those words. Pretty much only intelligible to me and only by my request, but still. 

Hannah likes to play with grandma's dolls and doll house. And she spends lots of time fishing with grandpa at the pond. The other day they were at the pond when hannah found a small yellow plastic stick about five inches long with a bobber on it. She declared it, "my fishing pole!" and asked grandpa to put a string and hook on it. My dad said she would put on her own bread and fished with such tenacity (even giving little toddler expletives when the fish would eat her bait off again "Dangit!") that he marveled at her. Finally, she caught her own fish and pulled it in from the pond "since dere is no winder!" She told the story several times. 

Liesel is in heaven picking garden produce, blueberries, climbing trees, catching turtles, making her own bug collection, playing with dolls, legos and learning to swim. My mom is an excellent swim teacher (and teacher in general--never missing a step in instructions and keeping it clear for the children). This is not one of my talents. She taught Liesel how to jump in and go right to a float, then take a breath and float again. This lead to arm movements and now Liesel can get herself (with considerable effort) to the other side of the 9ft deep end with no help. She has jumped off the diving board and swam to the side all by herself as well as retrieve objects from the bottom of the 4ft. 

It is so nice being at my parents house. I still feel an emptiness and feel sort of like a wanderer (directionless maybe?) without Brian around somedays, but I try not to think about it. 

His going to Nachez Trace was a real blow, but FLETC will all be over by October and will be nothing but a memory. 

We had an amazing weekend together but that deserves it's own post, as does our visit to Charleston to see Emily & Co. 

God gave us families.

I've been thinking about love lately. Maybe because I have been husbandless for 70 days. Or maybe because of Lindsey's wedding. Or possibly because almost every night I'm staring into the faces of couples in love as I edit. It is such a miracle to find a partner. That there is another human being that you want to spend your entire eternity with. I get to see Brian this weekend. I can't wait. It makes me hurt for my grandma who has been without my grandpa for 12 years now. I crave his touch and his presence. I feel like a wanderer without him.

I'm in NC. It feels like the peace after the storm. Which is ironic since it's been storming since I got here. But there is so much peace here. I brought my computer so I could work but I feel so far away from everything that I just don't feel like it. That's why I'm blogging instead.

I went to have my hair highlighted today. I wanted to look nice for Brian but let me warn you, you cannot go to Supercuts in North Carolina the same way you can in Utah. I learned this in TX, but had to relearn it here again. My hair looks disastrous. Like yellow, leopard-y and terrible. But oh well.

The girls are SO happy here.

April is over.

Liesel on AM chicken duty: compost in exchange for eggs. Not a bad deal we have worked out with those ladies. 

Soccer Practice for Miss Hannah. Which turned out to be an opportunity to whine for snacks cry in my lap for 20 minutes. Hannah told Dad tonight on the phone that, "i didn't like soccer. We just did races and didn't get to kick the ball like Liesel's soccer. I liked Liesel's soccer."

Liesel on her team. 

Cath's visit in February!

Easter Sunday

Felicity moves that sand around like a boss. She loves playing in water and sand, but then again is there a baby out there who doesn't?

My own personal bean-lover. Felicity will down some beans. 

These goofballs. 

Liesel finished all 58 lessons on her reading chart and earned her Lego Friends Jungle rescue set. We haven't done another lesson since. 

Taken in a moment of panic and sent to both Catherine and Brian. Felicity is a climber. She goes up and then base jumps off head first. 

Brian has been gone for an official two months this upcoming Sunday. It feels like forever and fast at the same time. These pookies have me shaking all over with laughter, shaking my head in anger, stressing out from constant needs and dying from fatigue. I seriously think my kids are great. They have so many talents. They are so full of personality. They are beautiful, vibrant and healthy. And each one is so unique.

Felicity has exploded in personality. She is social. She loves being in the group and thrives off attention from her sisters. She does not like it when she can hear that we're all playing and laughing and she's in her crib or high chair! She kicks her feet against her high chair super hard in frustration and grunts or yells. She has a good sense of humor and likes to be silly and make everyone laugh. She does this at dinner if she gets everyones attention. Felicity is a climber. She started walking this weekend!! She took three steps, but to my sister Emily instead of me! Haha! She looked so proud of herself. She took another three steps today to me and stand ups frequently.

I went to Hannah's sunbeam class with her on Sunday since we were visiting a new ward in Manti for Lindsey's wedding. I was honestly laughing the entire 45 minute class. She answered every. single. question. And she was hilarious. At one point the teacher asked about how we should take care of bodies when there are knifes around. hannah said, "One time I was slicing {peeling} a cucumber and I licked my finger because I thought I had jam on it, but it was my blood and I ate it." And then later a boy said that he ate watermelon because it was healthy and Hannah was like, "I like watermelon too, but it will give you diarrhea if you eat too much." And she was doing this the whole class. She is such a funny girl. So spunky. So sweet. So shy. So social. So endearing. So cold. So tender. So harsh.

Liesel is so perceptive of other people's feelings. She is naturally very empathetic and compassionate. This doesn't mean she doesn't inflict pain on Hannah several times a day, but she genuinely feels other people's pain. This weekend she gave aunt Catherine a hug when she was sad and said, "I really hope Aunt Emily makes her feel better." She prays for people who are hurting. She is a great big sister. I listened to her assessment for kindergarten today and she was amazing. I felt so proud of her and she seemed like such a big girl. She frequently says something and I think, "Where did she learn that word? How does she know what that means?!" Not a bad word or anything, just a big word. One that I'm surprised she knows what it means.

We all miss Brian so much. He got sprayed with OC today, but took it like a champ. Our family seems incomplete without him. Now that seeing him in getting closer and it's an actual reality, I feel so excited.