I'll take, "What is a Mormon" for 500, Alex.

This is not a post to convert, to persuade or to preach. The Haystack, although saturated with religious undertones, has never actually come out and said it: "We're Mormon" (whew, glad that's over). So what is that exactly? Well, it's not BIG LOVE or Sister Wives, in case you were wondering. And it's not Amish. Or that one episode of South Park . . . oh, and it's definitely not the new Broadway play. If you don't care, don't continue; we'll have more pictures of adventures and Liesel in no time. If you're curious, read on.

The nickname "Mormon" comes from the Book of Mormon (duh). The Book of Mormon is not our version of the Bible; we believe in the Bible and we believe in Jesus Christ. We are Christians. Basically, we believe that God (who is a separate being than Jesus Christ; both of whom have a tangible body) talks to man through prophets, and prophets write down His words in sacred books called scripture.

Just like there were prophets in the Middle East (Moses, Abraham, Peter, John etc), there were prophets in the Americas. Those prophets (Mormon, Alma, Nephi, Jacob etc) also wrote their words in sacred books called scriptures, hence the Book of Mormon. They testified that Jesus Christ also came to the Americas. The people here (here meaning modern-day Mexico, central and south America) wrote down a spiritual history of their people that spans about 1,000 years (600BC-400AD).

The civilization eventually falls into apostasy. Apostasy is when the truth is distorted and lost, churches are established to get gain/power, and the authority to baptize and perform other essential ordinances is no longer on the earth-- the same thing that happened in Europe and the Middle East after the death of the apostles). Mormon takes all of the records and compiles the most important writings into one book and calls it The Book of Mormon. He then gives it to his son who buries it in the earth.

About 1,500 years later, a 14-year-old boy named Jospeh Smith is wondering what church to join. He reads in the Bible, "if any of ye lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally and ubraideth not, and it shall be given him." He decides to do ask of God. He goes into the woods to pray and when he does, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ both appear and tell him not to join any of the churches. Several years later he is directed where to go to find the Book of Mormon, which he then translates. If used with the Bible it can lead us to Christ, give us direction and spiritual nourishment. Joseph Smith is directed to establish Christ's church again on the earth the same way it was originally; with 12 apostles, clear scripture, the authority and continued revelation.

I know there are plenty of people who don't believe in God or Christ and are skeptical of religion (and for a good reason). We invite people (ever seen those missionaries on bikes?) to read The Book of Mormon, pray and ask God if it is true and then act on the answer you receive.

We believe that God still talks to prophets (and us) today. We are his children and he loves us (all of us, so please don't believe that we're anti-gay-Glenn Beck-loving-gun-carrying-end-of-the-world-fanatics). I've read the Book of Mormon and the Bible, I know that their words are real and that the only way to true happiness is through Jesus Christ.

And if you don't think that, no problem. We can go on avoiding religion and all things pertaining and continue inadvertently making you feel awkward when we pray before meals or when you swear or order wine with dinner. And you can go hearing odd facts, reading strange articles and watching misleading TV shows and thinking, "aren't Brian and Angela Mormon???" Um, yeah.