Felicity's Birth Story

I have been having signs of labor for several days but on off. I have gone into labor a week and 10 days late in my other pregnancies. I felt really confused because I kept feeling like I was going into labor with a really strong contractions that I could even time. I was anxious to have the baby even though I was early, which I've never felt to that degree before. In all honesty, I think I was a little off on my due date by about two days. Never been very good at keeping track so I tried to estimate on the long end so I wouldn't feel dissapointed.

Anyway, I woke up the morning of March 19 feeling pretty good and hadn't felt any strong contractions that night. I was lying in bed talking to Brian when I felt a big gush and realized my water had broken. I looked up and said, "I think my water just broke! Guess you're not going to work today." Kind of weird to know that I would be going to the hospital and be having my baby within the next 24 hours, but that I wasn't actually in labor yet. There was meconium in the water which I noticed and it did make me feel a little bit more inclined to go to the hospital instead of laboring at home. I wasn't overly anxious though and decided to try and walk Liesel to preschool, vacuum the house, and get things in order for the girls so that they were prepared when we stayed at the hospital. And I actually did my hair. I felt kind of silly doing it but I usually look so crummy when I start labor but I thought I would since it was morning and I had the time.

Part of me kind of missed going to the hospital middle of the night when the world was sleeping and I knew I was going to have a baby, but it was also nice to get a full nights sleep and head to the hospital in the daylight when we could work out childcare. Really it was a blessing.

Our friends rallied around us and assured us that our kids would be fine. I felt both overwhelmed at the kindness of our friends and also a little guilty leaving such a tremendous responsibility on all of them.

When we got to the hospital I was having contractions about five minutes apart but they were very tolerable. I was worried about being bored and Brian thought about going to get scrabble from home. But instead we decided to wait just a little bit walk around the hospital and have him eat lunch and see what would happen. We did that for about an hour and a half and noticed that things were picking up a little bit.

When they checked me at around 1:45 and I had told her that I knew I was not going to be far along. And when she did check I was only 3cm. I wasn't surprised though because I knew my contractions hadn't been strong enough to do anything else. I told the nurse that the baby probably wouldn't come until 10 PM to prepare for that. 

The contractions really started to pick up after this point though, and at one point I had a pretty strong contraction right after Brian had gone to the bathroom and the nurse and left the room. It was so strong that I heard a loud pop three times.  It was the water bag breaking again but when I first heard it I thought something had exploded. It kind of sent my body into shock after that point and they came in to do my sailine lock and couldn't even find my veins. The contractors are picking up an intensity and in length. They were lasting around two minutes and feeling very intense. 

At this point I told the nurse that I was interested in an epidural. I had started to feel somewhat foolish always going with natural birth when there is an alternative to get out of it. Also the pain was intense and I was looking forward to not feeling it. The anesthesiologist was taking a while to get there and I told the nurse I did not think he was going to get there in time. She assured me he would but I knew my contractions were intense enough and I was progressing very quickly--in hindsight I wish he had not made it there in time. The nurse check me and I was a seven and he arrived right after that.

As soon as they started the process began to regret it somewhat. The nurse anesthetist look very young and Started chatting with Brian about the bike that he had bought from him.  I had to remind him I was in labor and please be quiet. They begin the epidural process and I had to contractions while they were trying to put in the epidural.

I didn't know it at the time but they had to do it twice because he messed up the first time. When he didn't mess up I could feel his thing that went all the way up my neck. The doctor tried to claim it was a muscle spasm but I told him he did not feel like a muscle spasm. What's the epidural was in my blood pressure dropped dramatically. The mood in the room with tense the anesthesiologist had beads of sweat on his forhead.

I probably shouldn't have but I immediately began to express regret getting the epidural. I said that this was the cascade of interventions I had read about and kept saying that it was a mistake. Then a few minutes past and I realize I had I was having a contraction appeal it and so overjoyed!

I had two more contractions and can feel pressure my tailbone but nothing else. I have to go to contractions I could tell that I was going to have the baby and it was time to push. About 15 minutes had passed at this point and the doctor had left the room thinking it would be a while. The nurse checked me and could feel the babies head. They had to page the doctor STAT over the intercom. I was so overjoyed that I could feel to push but didn't feel any anxiety or stress. I was really excited about the epidural at this point and felt very happy that I was gonna push the baby out without all of the fogginess in the brain or the barbaric animal screams. 

I started to push even before the doctor got there just a little and once he did arrive I pushed for about 15 minutes--I could feel the baby crown and the whole body come out. I was surprised at how that felt exactly the same with natural birth versus an epidural. 

I was so excited to see the baby! I reached for her and felt so happy! I didn't feel any of that anxiety or "thank goodness this is over" feeling. 

 The second I saw her face I felt an immediate connection with this little one. Her mouth was open but she was trying to screen but it took a second for the wail to come. This was the first birth where I was reaching for her the second she was out of me. Her cry it was so cute. Everything about her seemed so cute to me. I grabbed her right away and she felt warm and slimey. I was very very happy. They wanted to do the baby-led latch technique where they put the baby on your bare chest and let her root around until she finds where to nurse

Not sure if that's any more effective than just helping them find where to latch but either way it was nice to not have them rush her off right away to dry and weigh her. She did nurse like a champ. So maybe it is effective? I feel like my doc was getting impatient and so we ended up not doing a whole nursing session before they took her away. 

I started to notice complications --that my head was really beginning to pound between my eyes and that I could tell that it was the start of a spinal headache. When I told the nurse and doctor this they all want to deny that it was a spinal headache. They said the onset was too quick. The pain became unbearable if I was sitting up. It felt like my brain was being pulled down and out the back of my neck--- or like it was hanging by blood vessels and resting on my eyes. I had to have help to get to the bathroom and could not get back to bed fast enough. It made it hard to look at Felicity, to nurse or eat since I had to lie down. Brian did everything all night long... Diaper changes, rocking her to sleep etc. the next day I decided to do the blood patch.

We decided against the anesthetist that messed up the epidural and asked for a different one that we know and are friends with. So glad Brian insisted on this because I think I under estimated how terrified I would feel. It's basically a second epidural (the catheter is in your back and put in the same way), but instead of injecting painkiller, they draw blood after the catheter is in and inject it into your spine so it clots the torn area in your spinal sheath that is leaking cerebral spinal fluid. I felt some relief immediately and was totally better after a few hours. At this point, I still wasn't entirely regretting the epidural since I mostly just wanted to lie down at the hospital anyway through the night. I had the blood patch done around 9am. The whole next day I felt fine except for some back soreness. On Sunday mid-day, I noticed the head ache coming back. After about 40 mins, it was full-blown and terrible.

For the next two days, I debated what to do. I couldn't find any solid story online of someone waiting it out. CSF fluid doesn't really clot, since that area is not meant to be punctured. After agonizing over it, I decided to get a second blood patch. But I was terrified. And Brian wasn't totally onboard, which made me far more anxious and self-doubting. Ultimately, I didn't know how I could function as a mom waiting this thing out. So I went in again. I started crying trying to sign the waiver. I was so anxious at the start of the procedure that they had to all leave while Brian talked to me and throw away their open sterile tools. My blood pressure was high and I was insanely tense and could not calm down. I couldn't get over the thought of another huge needle in my spine.  I was able to calm down enough to get through the procedure and stayed lying down for an hour. I insisted on a wheel chair to the car (I wasn't about to let that clot come off!) and they wheeled me to the car. I was in bed for the next 48 hours and got up only a little the evening on Thursday. Friday morning I finally got up and took a shower, stood up and got outside!!!! YAY! To the park with all the kids and my mom. It was so nice to be out of bed.

To say I regret getting the epidural is an understatement. I will not be doing it again. Ever. Kind of ironic that I ended up with 4 epidural punctures in my back from this one labor. . . two epidurals (the messed up one where my fluid leaked and the good one that worked during transition/pushing) and the two blood patches. I was at a 7 when she checked be before getting the anesthetist and it took 20 minutes after that to have it start working. I was SO CLOSE to being done on my own. Ive always been leary of medical procedures and do believe they tend to cause more problems that they later have to fix with more meds and procedures (high blood pressure! baby's heart rate! leaky fluid! Spinal headache! Swelling from the IV! she needs med! More IV-- she's dehydrated)!

I do feel so unbelievably happy that the spinal headache is gone. I felt grateful the whole time that it was me with a problem and not Felicity. I had felt anxious about her for months and about the labor going bad, so I was relieved nothing had lasting consequences.

Also, I am so thankful for friends in the area. Natalie let Hannah stay at preschool, Leslie picked them up and watched all 5 kids at her house for hours. Then Sister Louthan picked them up and watched them all night/day until noon when Brian brought them to the hospital and then they went back to to Natalie's for the rest of the afternoon until 5pm. She had dinner for us all made when we picked them up. Leslie brought over flowers and chocolates when I was on bedrest. Heidi made us dinner on Saturday. My mom has done a tremendous amount of work watching the girls, keeping the house clean and laundry done, making all meals and entertaining the kids so well. Makes me kind of wonder what I had been doing the last 4 years. :) I'm so grateful for my brother and sister who fasted for me and for the prayers of all of my family. And I'm so grateful I can stand up now and look at my kids and focus on something and eat my meals sitting up.

And I'm thankful for little Felicity for joining our family. I can't wait to get to know her and watch her grow.