My redrock babies. And thank goodness Sarah's here.

Aunt Sarah is here living with us for the summer. She arrived May 12th and it has been INCREDIBLE to say the least. She has watched the kids several times to give me priceless outdoor exercise time in the morning. Seriously, it is music to my ears every time she says, "hey, I'm off tomorrow morning and can watch the girls if you want to exercise. . ." 

And. . . it is so fun to have someone to talk to in the evenings. Brian is gone quite a bit. Mutual Wednesday, helps Clay on his house once a week at least, goes in the backcountry for a night or two a pay period etc. So my point is, it's great! 

I need to write up on the girls and their latest antics. I will in another post. We celebrated their half birthday yesterday since it was Liesel's actual half birthday. I was swinging them on our swing outside and somehow birthdays came up (which they usually do with 2 and 4-year-olds) and we discovered that we missed Hannah's half b-day and Liesel's was the following day. I told the girls that they could pick a treat and we would go get it. They picked a cupcake, but caved at the grocery store when they saw doughnuts covered in fruit loops and sprinkles. . . marketing to kids is so sneaky. We came home and they blew out their doughnuts with 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 candles and we sang. They didn't eat again until dinner. . .

Felicity at 2 months

Felicity is my little squirming ball of soft sunshine. Corny, yes. But babies, especially this baby, are so sweet. They are so delicate and resilient and adorable and cuddly and pure and good. I love having an infant in the house. They are so perfect. 

I still believe this little gal's personality is sweet and kind. The other evening while I was nursing her and about to put her down for the night, I had a feeling that she was meant for our family and necessary to it. She will be important to both of the girls and a good friend to them. They will all need each other and rely on each other. I am glad she is part of the Hays clan. 

Stat wise, this is where she stands (or lies, actually):

12.4 lbs 75th

39cm head

23 inches 98th

She still takes some seriously solid naps during the day. She nurses fast now, about 10-15 minutes total except for at night when I drag it out a bit. She is the best sleeper I've had and has on occasion slept from 6:30pm-5:50am. She usually wakes up once to eat between 2-4am. She is the most smiley in the morning and I love going to get her and watch her smile over and over at me. She goes to bed every night at about 6:30. 

Her sisters love her, but after watching Eva this week (Allred's baby-6months), I realized that this girls is going to get some serious loving from Miss Hannah once she can interact. That girl LOVES babies. Felicity makes the cutest upset noises ever. Brian and I both love to hear her little voice. She talks back to me and will engage in a pretty good coo-versation. 

We LOVE this little gal. 

A long post about kids, fun and food.

Hannah had just slipped and fallen hard twice and was crying, Felicity was crying and Liesel may have been also. One of those classic mom moments. 

L found this little guy and was convinced that he was going to follow us home after she let him go. She kept saying, "I can hear him! He's following us!"

Heaven's birthday gift for Lindsey: an AMAZING birthday rainbow mid-ride; My birthday gift to Lindsey: 1 hour of pain mountain biking a trail that really kills your self esteem called EZ and Lazy. 

This girls love their Auntie! Happy Birthday to Lindsey. Made this homemade shortbread crust-cream and strawberry pie (you make the pudding from scratch by heating it on the stove, tempering the egg and folding in real whip cream) TWICE. Brian came home from the White Rim in time to celebrate Lindsey's B-day and mentioned more than once, "Babe, I wouldn't mind if I found another one of those in the fridge tomorrow. . ." hint hint. I didn't disappoint. 

Went on two killer trail runs with Lindsey when she was here! 

Another from out Mountain bike excursion. 

The GIANT banana split we got at the art festival. Hard to believe this was one week ago because now we're sweating our brains out in 97 degree weather! 

Hulu-hoop champ. Sarah Hays was legitimately surprised that I had a hidden talent for the hula-hoop. :) 

We snuck in a 20 minute bouldering session on Lindsey's b-day. Right after the trail run and before the arts fest. 

Love my sister!!!!!

On one of our many outings. My two peas in their own pods. 

And my newest sweet pea with gorgeous eyes and the sweetest temperament. 

What a good month it's been. I'm not going to recap all the trails and outings, but suffice it to say that there were MANY. May weather was amazing. 70s with a good t-storm about every day that came and washed through quickly. I LOVE living in Moab. I really do. It's amazing. It wouldn't be exaggerating to say that every day I look up and around when I'm in the backyard, running on some trail or playing out somewhere with the kids and think, "This is amazing." 

We go to host Lindsey for her 29th Birthday this month. That was a great weekend for me. I love having family so close by and she really does a great job of coming down. My kids adore her and definitely feel comfortable around her. . .perhaps too comfortable. ;) We played like crazy and had so much fun together. One funny story: we were trail running a loop and the end of that loop (when we were about 100 yards from the car) had a river/creek that was so deep I had to swim it with only my head above water. The second I got to the other side, some hikers popped out of the brush and said that there was a trail where you could cross some rocks not too far the other way. Lindsey escaped the  icy swim!

Brian got home from a SAR this afternoon around 2pm. He was called out yesterday at 7pm back to Canyonlands. A man had repelled on an unsafe anchor, which didn't hold. His girlfriend and 15-year-old daughter watched him fall to his death. Brian went out on the White Rim to help them and remove the body. Brian is a hard worker and I'm so glad I married him. For that reason and for so many others. I look forward to when he walks in the door every day.

For the past three weeks I've been counting my calories using the smartphone app called "My Fitness Pal." I enter in every recipe and my portion size. I invested in a scale and a food scale for my Mother's Day present and I've been keeping track of everything for three weeks. My goal is to do it for six weeks. I have lost 10 pounds so far. I wanted to mention this because it has been so educational for me and I have really enjoyed it. 

Here are a few thoughts on it:

1) Being disciplined in this area of my life has sparked a desire to be more disciplined in my spiritual growth. As I was running the other day, I was thinking about how everything has both an easy way and hard way (all things have an opposite)-- the hard way being the greater result. I can get angry at my child and yell (easy) or I can take a deep breath and say it calmly again and again (hard). . . etc. Every time I resist and take the harder/higher road, I have a greater result. It's basically Mosiah 3:19 in action. Obvious, I know. But seeing the success temporally has made me more diligent spiritually. I 

2) I feel blessed that I have a smart phone. It sounds silly, but it is honestly an incredible tool. I type in what I want to weigh, it tells me how much I can eat and if I stick to those numbers, I'll have "x" result. It kind of blows me away. 

3) It feels really good to not be pregnant. I am so glad that I can MOVE as fast as I want. That I can jump, run, climb, bike and play. I have a gym membership, but using is torture. I like to exercise because I like to be outside. I like feel the sun on my slathered in sunscreen skin. I like to dunk my head in a cool pool and let it drip down. I like to run with no shirt in the middle of nowhere. I like to stare deep in to a canyon and go up and down slickrock. 

4) I want to eat a more plant-based diet. I haven't eaten as much dairy or meat since I started and I feel amazing. I don't want to support the beef industry anymore. I realized that the government is what has set up the daily nutrient guidelines. I think people are eating more protein than they need and our main focus should just be eating more plants, whole grains and absorbing our nutrients naturally. Nothing about the meat industry is good. It isn't healthy, it is terrible for the environment and it's inhumane to animals. I know it's hippy stuff that's been around forever, but sometimes hippies have it right. I'm not saying I won't eat meat at all, but I think it should be more of a flavoring than a main dish. I want to eat a modest amount and I can't wait to get our own eggs. 

It's Mother's Day today.

Hannah after bath. She says, "I'm BEEEEE!" That means she's cold. . . like burrrrr. She is such a good talker these days I have to hang on to those adorable things she says incorrectly and never correct them. 

Liesel was so cold her lips were blue for a solid hour. She's in my complimentary bath robe from the hospital from Felicity's birth. 

All the Hays ladies. I look at this and my mind wants to think, "sheesh you look fat" but I force myself to think, "sheesh you are blessed." Because I am. I really really am. 

 Today I really wanted to spend individual time with each of my children. Wish granted. I was able to take a walk with Liesel all by ourselves. We walked our neighbor's dog, found a giant snail (which got stepped on and I thought it would die anyway, so I suggested feeding it to the chickens. Then when we did, I felt horrible inside and couldn't watch!) and hunted down some white flour so Brian could finish the Mother's Day cake he started. I love hearing Liesel laugh. It melts my heart and always has. She is a GOOD girl. She tries hard to be good. She is an animal lover and loves even the creepy things. We discovered a spider carrying an egg sac the other day and we both just watched it forever. Glad I can share that love of the natural world with her. She wore her pink velvet dress with the fur trim from Aunt Sarah and clipped bows on her boa for me to wear around on our walk. I did. We found a leave bigger than my head. She sang today with Primary and looked so sweet up there. She drew me a picture in my card today. It cracked me up. It was the whole family under a rainbow, but I didn't see Felicity. There was something that looked like a small rock with dots. I asked her if that was F, and she said, "no, that's the baby monitor. We are outside and she's asleep upstairs." It was oddly accurate.

Hannah and I snuggled on the sofa with her meow-meow (pink knitted blanket) and read the book about her that I made her for Christmas. She is a little sick and was too tired to go on a walk (she totally gave herself a nap when I left with Liesel) so we settled on snuggles. I love to read these books as much as they do. It's amazing to see how much they grow. Hannah picks out her own clothes and nothing I say can influence her. She will NOT wear what she doesn't want to. At all. I also cannot do her hair. Everything has to be her idea, or forget it. She is terrified of large groups of people, but loves hanging out with groups of older girls between 6-9 years old. This happens frequently at the park. She pees often right in front of the toilet since it's hard for her to climb on before having an accident-- but she "cleans it up" by herself. Usually using things I don't want her to-- like her pajamas, a clean towel, loads of TP etc. Or she'll just leave it for me to walk on unknowingly. She is my alarm clock and the first one awake every day. Usually right around 6:30am. She comes into my bed and has to be right next to me or she gets very mad. Then she demands breakfast. Then I tell her to do her morning chart (we implemented this for FHE the other week and it has been AWESOME-- they get dressed, brush teeth, say prayer and go potty before breakfast all by themselves. Maybe other kids already do this, but mine didn't). She does, comes back in one of 4 outfits that she deems worthy, and then demands breakfast again. 

Felicity and I snuck away several times for quiet nursing sessions. She is my sleepy baby and still sleeps almost the whole day with a few 30-45 minute awake periods. She isn't as aggressive as the other girls in her nursing and she doesn't seem to be getting chubby-- more just average. She is overall very calm, but has been the hardest to get to sleep at night. The others really understood the routine. She knows it's bedtime, but will scream. I'll nurse, rock her and pacifier, but ultimately she has to cry for a while before the pacifier or nursing work again. If I don't put her down at 6:30, though, she goes CRAZY. I already feel somewhat tied to her naps and schedule since she functions so much better with it. . . but not enough to force myself to stay home if the opportunity arrises. I love holding her. I wish I could hold her more. She is looking less and less like a newborn. 

Missionaries came over for dinner.

Brian cooked an awesome meal of salmon, bread, salad, roasted potatoes and squash. Then followed with a homemade two-layer chocolate cake with ganache and whipped blueberry cream.

Thanks babe. xoxo

The key to finding your keys.

morning routine

Daisy and Tweetsie enjoying the freshly mowed grass clippings. And giving me the eye. 

No chicken should have a view this awesome. It just feels wrong. And so right. 

Lissie's first smiles!! Every morning this is how she greets me. I just savor and enjoy every one of them. 

A feed me look. 

The kids.

I threw a party at Swanny park for Kerri, a friend of mine who just turned 40. I really wanted to make it good and non-stressful, so I didn't go anywhere all morning so I would be ready, the house would be clean, dinner would be done and life would be un-chaotic when it came time. Plus, I was sick all morning. . . like I ate something rotten sick. Finally took some pepto about 30 mins before I had to leave and it worked a miracle. I made a sheet cake and brownies, had all the kids in the car buckled and went to get my keys so I could set up at the park. I searched everywhere. No keys. I prayed. I searched again. I've said many a prayer begging for help in located lost keys. I used to promise I would be more careful and less thoughtless. Not anymore. I know I'm a repeat customer when it comes to eliciting help in key locating. 

Nothing was coming to mind. The only other time this happened was when my wallet was stollen at Bath and Body Works in high school and I prayed to find it. When someone else's agency is involved.  No time for further investigation. I called a friend and we packed it all into her car and drove to the park. 

The party went well. 

Brian picked us up. 

I said a prayer later to help me find them after Brian looked all through the grass outside. I finally had a thought come to my mind to look in a wicker basket and sure enough there they are.

Not a coincidence. 

A little tender mercy right there. 

Still feeling fat. Was doing so great not eating sugar and bombed it today at the party. And then since I had bombed it, I continued to bomb it. Ugh. 

Lamented the fact that I didn't line up a sitter for a date. Brian and I watched an episode of Shark Tank and laughed. Laughed again at 3am when I woke up to nurse Felicity and he woke up with no shirt on. Said he was dreaming he was at the ski resort shirtless. It feels odd to laugh at 3am, but both of us were cracking up. Reminded me of the pre-kid days when we woke up in the middle of the night once at the same time and made a smoothie and went back to bed. And the other time camping when we played UNO and went back to bed. The first year of our marriage I was constantly shocked that no one had told me the best part of marriage was the constant slumber party with your best friend. 

Family Matters.

Busy busy busy.

If you could see our house right now, I would be embarrassed. The piles of junk in all corners seem to be piling faster than I can handle. The kitchen is clean. And if that's clean, my sanity is restored, but there's nothing like stepping on a babydoll with a burst of electronic giggle at 3am on my way to a fussing 6-week-old. But it will get clean. 

Friday night Brian was called out on a SAR until 3am. I didn't go to be until late and of course Hannah was up at 5:45am. Celebrating the longer days, the light filtering through and the birds chirping, I suppose! I was worried about Brian waking up, so I lied on her bed while she and Liesel played all around and on top of me. I was too tired to get up and play pretend pre-7am, though. I finally got everyone ready and in church clothes (including me) by 8am.

Then we hit up McDonalds so B could keep sleeping. But of course I didn't take into account that it was Saturday. And that I live in a very popular tourist town. There were about 80 bikers in matching "rough riders" leather vests ordering. When I finally made my way to the front, the girl was totally frazzled and when I got my food and mentioned there were things missing and things I didn't order (I said it super nice!!) she broke down and started to cry right there. I really wanted to give her a hug. And a tip. And a card. 

We headed to a baptism. It felt good to be there. I love baptisms. There really is an amazing spirit there as these kids show their faith and follow Christ. 

I came home and got ready for a wedding I was shooting in the Devil's Garden area in Arches. It is hard for me to leave Felicity and I feel anxious every time. Although I admit, I love to drive in complete silence. But I totally fell asleep for a second at the wheel. Guess that complete silence is a bad idea. 

The wedding was good. There are usually a few things that go wrong for the Bride on their big day and I always feel bad. It makes me want to do my best at the photos. It went over the scheduled time, as it often does. Felicity was fine when I got home, but she does nurse a little funny after a bottle for a few feedings. She really is a sweetie. She's started to make the funniest noises when she wants something-- not a full cry, just a mad noise. It's really cute. 

Brian suggested date night when he got home. We put the kids down, I got a 12-year-old (her first baby-sitting job- yikes!) and we headed out to run/hike up a route on river road. Then we went to the Diner and split a banana split. I have always loved being with Brian and playing outside. It's something we've always done together and it really rejuvenates me. It's so nice to move quickly and talk about our life. 

This was a good thing, because it helped me get through church today. I was on the verge of tears for the last 2 hours. Hannah is refusing to go to nursery and Liesel lies on the floor and won't sing. I said something rude a few weeks ago to a friend and didn't realize it until she talked to me about it today. I have a counselor vacancy and sharing time vacancies because of it and 3 of the 4 teachers were gone today. Hannah is jealous of Felicity's mommy time and frequently scratches or hits her face/head when she's sleeping my arms at church. I was really glad when it was over. They have a tradition of having the youth take over primary on Mother's Day. I am happy about the idea and want to give the teachers a break-- but it was actually more work for me than just leaving everything the same. I had to copy all the lessons, write up all the children in each class and next week I will still need to conduct, set up, and show all of the youth where to go and who to teach. It will be chaos, but I decided that I just don't care. It's one Sunday. And if I can get into RS for just 30 minutes, it will be great. As much as I love primary, I love talking to the other sisters and miss that about RS. 

Went to the Olsen's tonight for desert and the kids played like crazy on the trampoline. I always love getting together with friends. 

A few weeks ago on river road

May 1st. I can't believe it's May 1st.

Leslie's B-day hike. Only almost a month late. :) Really, a b-day gift for me too. Brian watched all the 2 & 4-year-olds so we could hike together. 

Mary Jane Canyon-- a hike I had never done before. I love seeing new places and water in the desert is so stunning. 

Sorting the seeds for garden planting. 

Hannah decided to wash her hair in mud. Yeah, gardening with toddlers is a bad idea-slash-comical in every way. 

Hannah. 

Liesel. oh, and Emmy... the chicken. 

6-week-old Felicity getting some love. 

six weeks! She's my little darling!

Our usual morning. I go for a run, come home, give B a kiss goodbye and head out in the yard for a bit to say hello to the hens, pull weeds, move rocks, dig holes, plant seeds. . . etc. 

She's so CUTE!!!!!!!! I love having a baby again. 

Look at that chicken coop! SHEESH! Brian is amazing. And look at those THREE kids! I am amazing.

I've had a happy week. Yeah, there are moments for sure where I am angry and cranky. Where I feel frustrated that all three kids are crying and need me at once. And Brian too. . . haha 

For example the SAR this week in the Fisher Towers when Felicity was screaming, both kids were covered in mud (see above photo of Hannah), I was covered in mud and trying to plant the garden, the house was a giant disaster, Brian was supposed to be off but was called in and he needed me to fix a quick lunch, fill up water and get him out the door. . . 

There are those moments. 

And bedtime. I am supposed to enjoy it and slow down, right?

But there is always someone crying. Always someone who doesn't like their pjs. Always someone who is running away hiding under the bed. Always guilt that scripture study was just a quick story from the illustrated book. Always a certain baby screaming because she's tired and wants to nurse for the 4th time in a row. . . 

BUT.

I've felt so warm this week. Very happy.

I love my kids. This morning we played store and camping upstairs in the bedroom. We played outside with the chickens. I gave them both haircuts in my bathroom, washed their feet and hands and painted nails and put lip gloss and eyeshadow on Liesel. She kept saying how beautiful she looked and wanted to invite Owen and Rylee over to show them. She really did look so beautiful and grown up looking at her self approvingly in the mirror. And I cut little bangs on Hannah and trimmed her baby hairs for the first time ever. She did not want me to cut her hair, so I had to resort to the iPad.

We all went to Old City park and the sprinklers were on-- they ran around for a solid hour and half getting soaked with Rylee and Brynlee. 

On Monday I got to go for another trail run. It was glorious.

On Tuesday Brian watched Leslie's kids and ours while we took the babies hiking. It was SO NICE to walk fast and talk. The time flew by and the miles melted away. 7miles and it seriously felt like 3m. Wish I had invited them to dinner afterward.

Went to bookclub, but everyone seemed down. I left feeling like I should be more focused on helping my friends. Several of them have been having a hard time and I didn't even know it. 

A maternity shoot tonight and a wedding tomorrow. Hope Felicity takes formula again!