on natural birth

I, Angela Hays am not a doctor. I'm not a nurse. I'm not a midwife. In fact, I'm not even really smart. But I am a mother. And I have given birth (only twice). And I have been asked (more than once) about birthing naturally. Or is is natural childbirth?

This is not the end of my disclaimer. I've only done this twice. I know that every woman and labor is different. I am a skeptic by nature-- most especially of the medical field. [side note: I probably inherited that from my father who performed his own allergy test by injecting himself with dust from our carpet and drilling his own thumb nail to relieve the pressure from a hematoma (fancy for bruise. That's a close as I get to being a doc). Both were successful I might add].

I am a junkie for birth stories. I may very well use an epidural next time (if I'm fortunate enough to have a next time). I won't judge you if you do. Giving birth is a gnarly experience. And you'll look way hotter in your hospital photos.

With that said, natural childbirth is also a really raw/amazing/paradigm altering experience. I'm sure any birth is whether it's natural or not, but that's all I have to go with.

After Liesel I would walk around and marvel at all the people on the street/stores/working and that someone gave birth to every single one of them. I felt somehow connected with generations of females that have brought children into the world. When I walk around the Needles and pass by a granary or grooves in the rock from mamas making flour all those years ago-- and think about them giving birth out here with no cushy hospitals and ice chips and picturing their exhausted faces, I admire them and feel like we're friends (and I think, "man, it's weird that walking by a granary is an every other day occurrence and I must really be lonely to think I"m friends with someone who I've never met and has been dead for thousands of years. But that's coo").

This 2nd time around (with Hannah) I was amazed at how great I felt as soon as I delivered. I felt fab (minus the flab). I had energy. I wasn't as dead. I felt like I was already on the road to recovery. Whew. It was at least 40% easier than the first delivery.

So for those who really really want a natural childbirth, here are a few things that helped me:

--Rent or check out the DVDs Laugh and Learn about Childbirth. The one breathing technique she talks about is the only thing I use to relax. Knowing the stages of labor is really helpful b/c you won't run to the hospital too early. And it feels good to know what to expect. I found these really helpful. Brian did too-- and as my coach it was nice that he knew the drill as well.

--Try your very hardest not to get over anxious. This really hard! But it is almost essential that you go into labor on your own (and not get induced). I could explain why, but I won't. Tell your doc this too. We let ours know that we didn't want to discuss induction until we hit the 2 week mark and he agreed.

-- You'll know when labor is active when you can't talk or joke through the contractions and need to concentrate to relax. Every labor is different, but I try not to time contractions or think about going to the hospital until I reach this point. For me it doesn't have much to do with how far apart the are.

-- Labor at home for as long as you can. This is coming from someone who had to drive 1.5 hrs and 2hrs to the hospital. . . and didn't really labor at home for more than 5 hrs each time. But if you can and have the option, stay out of the hospital (the first go around we went to a hotel first to be close enough but not at the hospital and labored there for several hours).

-- have your coach (in my case, Brian) time your contractions by letting you know the 15 second intervals. When you reach 30-60 seconds the peak of the contraction will have passed and you know the intensity is on it's way down.

-- play mental games with yourself. Always think that your less dilated than you hope you are. Try and  keep your mind occupied if you're overdue.

-- Labor is manageable until you reach transition and by that time it's too late for an epidural anyway. Is that comforting? For some reason it helped me.

-- books will say to eat and drink. I would drink apple juice (or something like it) but not much else. . . I found yogurt, popsicles and pretty much everything but water (or ice) and apple juice to be too much. And there's a good chance you'll throw it up. I didn't eat any thing but apple juice the 2nd time and threw up way less. Is that comforting?

-- turn out the lights in the hospital room.

-- do deep slow breathing through contractions and try and keep your body totally relaxed. This may go out the window during transition, but it will be key in getting you there.

-- crack a joke every once in a while.

-- When you push, your body should be between a 45 and 90 degree angle.  . . not lying completely flat on your back.

Well, there you have it. A few completely unsolicited tidbits of advice. Happy birthing!